Those other things You wanna see

29 November, 2011

Been a While

Holidays Holidays Holidays.

This weekend is Krizmaz. Are you excited??? I'm working on some krizmaz presents right now, that I think those receiving these gifts will be pretty happy. I'm totally excited to give Keeper and E. their gifts, though! I got them some pretty awesome things. :)

Monday is my 21st birthday. Keeper has something planned. I don't know what. I'm kind of excited to find out. I'll finally be able to go out with my friends when they all suggest "let's go get a drink"! I'm pretty excited about that.

This post is incredibly short, and I wish I had more to say right now... But alas, these projects call for my attention, and I find myself rather distracted.

I'll write again soon, hopefully!

17 October, 2011

Weekend Whimsies

What a weekend!

Keeper and I began our weekend by watching the first Johnny English movie on Friday night, because I had never seen it, and we were due to screen the new Johnny English movie on Saturday morning. Overall, they were both pretty funny, but I honestly liked the first one better. The first one was more of a hysterical movie with funny parts, and the second was more of a funny movie, with funny parts. I think that's the best way I can describe that. Johnny English Returns on Saturday morning was easy money.

Saturday afternoon, after we stopped to grab a bite to eat at McDonald's, we came home and began work on some of our home-improvement projects. While I added another layer of buildings to the bathroom walls, Keeper dug into the cubbyhole project... literally!

One of the things we are doing to improve our home is make a little bit more storage space. Our window sills are going to be just that! In our apartment, we have window ledges that are about 28 inches long, from the window to the room, and approx. 18 in. from the ledge to the carpet. The bedroom window is about 28 inches wide, and the living room window is about 54(?) inches wide. As we weren't entirely sure what was underneath the sill, we decided to begin our project in the bedroom, and see if what we wanted to do was even plausible. When Keeper first dug into the window ledge, he was reluctant to even go any further than just taking the top particle board off, as the innards of the window ledge looked pretty labor-intensive. The wall's make-up was primarily aesthetic brick, with quite a bit of air space and some fiberglass insulation, all behind some dry wall and under a large particleboard ledge. After taking a further look, Keeper began slowly (and carefully) taking out the loose bricks and all of the dust and dry cement that had been used LONG ago to make up the walls of the original building, and eventually uncovered a wooden base sub-flooring. This sub-flooring substance gave us much hope! While we're only planning on making a discreet cubbyhole for storage in the bedroom, we're going to be making the living room window ledge into an area for a table and chairs (potentially booth-style chairs made from parts of the ledge).

Keeper made a LOT of progress on the cubbyhole, although he had to wear a mask to keep most of the dust out of his system. Even though I was about 15 feet away in the bathroom, I also opted to wear a mask, as I personally do not tend to enjoy breathing in dust. If it had been any less windy outside, we definitely would've had the windows open wide.

In the bathroom, I made some painting progress on the cityscape walls. I am proud to say that I have only the black layer left, and then I can do simple touch-up work on the windows and outlines! The design is looking pretty awesome, and even the Esoteric Hellion has commented that he likes how I have included some architecture from almost every time period.

AND! After the bathroom, Keeper has said that he would like to paint the bedroom next! That makes me SUPER happy! Although we're doing the cityscape in the bathroom, we're painting each of the other rooms in the house our three colors. The bedroom is going to be a lovely, lush purple; The foyers (bathroom foyer and main entrance foyer) are going a gorgeous green; and the living room is going to be a beautiful blue! The kitchen is yet to be decided, but I'm potentially thinking a bright red, orange, yellow combo? I was inspired to do those colors in there, after Keeper had strung some colorful sweet peppers and hung them from the ceiling for a get-together we had last month.

Sunday was much more of a chill day, where Keeper mostly played video games all day, and I did my homework. Keeper and E. both helped me out with my homework when I needed it (as I was doing usability testing). In the early evening, my Twin stopped by with her husband, and they bought the red couch that we had been trying to sell for about 3 months now. Keeper had been quite used to living with a single futon-couch before I had moved in... and then I moved in, and we had three couches total! It was quite fun at first, having three couches, as it meant that we never ran out of space to sit, even with company. But after a few months, it just became cramped. Especially as we began to accumulate cats! Last month, we sold the smallest couch, and we tried repeatedly to sell the other couch, to no avail. Finally, when Twin visited for dinner one night, she and her husband mentioned that they were looking for a couch, and BAM! We had a buyer! Twin and Husband finally came to get the couch last night, as I said, and they even brought us some homemade applesauce (made by Momma J. and her mother) with the moneys! Talk about a deal! :)

After Twin and Husband took the couch, Keeper and I decided to get out of the house, so we went to a place called Ma Fisher's for some dinner. It was the second time that I've been to this restaurant, and I have to say, it's nothing truly special. It's kind of one of those late-night diners where you're willing to go for some food when you're hungover, or nowhere else is open. :\ It wasn't great, but it wasn't really horrible, either.

Although Sunday wasn't that busy, the weekend as a whole seemed pretty busy. Keeper and I made a lot of headway on our projects, and the weekend was a pretty good one, all things said and done. :)

16 September, 2011

Your Heart's A Mess

Do you know how expensive it is to get a cat de-clawed in just the front in the Milwaukee area? No? Well, I'll tell you. Around $250. Not that I'm complaining. I can eat light for a week or two so that my little Pooh Bear can cuddle with me once more, and so the other cats don't have to shirk around corners because they're afraid of getting mauled. I'm more than willing to be a little tight on cash for a week or two so there can be more peace in the house. But can Keeper? It appears as though E. is of the mind that getting Pooh Bear de-clawed would not be the best choice. I know Keeper is not at all thrilled about spending over $200 on one cat (understandably).

Over the past couple weeks, it have been quite interesting to me to see the differences that Keeper and I have. None of the differences have been particularly bad, just... different. We've been discussing painting the house and redoing the floors. We've also been slowly getting rid of excess furniture. We finally made a list of all the big-budget things that we want to do (including getting Pooh Bear de-clawed, redoing the house, the wedding, etc.), and it's going to be quite a feat to accomplish all that we want to accomplish.

We're going to be starting on the bathroom this weekend. We're going to be priming the walls and cleaning the bathroom top-to-bottom, and I'll hopefully start on drawing the cityscape on the walls for us to paint (hopefully this weekend, but probably next weekend). We also want to redo the flooring in the bathroom, but I think we're still deciding on what to do with that. We might go stone, or might do hardwood... Or maybe just a new linoleum. We haven't for sure decided yet on the flooring in the bathroom. After the bathroom, we're going to be moving on to the foyers (bathroom foyer and main foyer of the house), and painting them a lovely green. For the foyers and the kitchen, we're going hardwood. It's going to be wonderful! After the foyers, we're gonna do the kitchen, and I think we're going to be painting the kitchen in a cityscape again. I don't think we're 100% set on that yet, but that's the plan so far. The living room and the bedroom are gonna be the easiest, I think... So far, we're only planning on painting them, but we might get new carpeting too. It's going to be a pretty huge project. I'm pretty excited to be doing it all, especially with Keeper. :)

It's a lot to put into motion, and I'm really glad we're actually starting something this weekend! I just hope we can figure out how important it all is to us, and figure out how we're going to go about doing everything we want to do. It's going to take a lot of time, and quite a bit of money, but I'm confident that we can handle it. I just really hope we can get on the same page about Pooh Bear, and soon! It's not going to cause any fights or anything, but we do need to decide whether to go through with it or not, and we need to figure out how to go about doing all of the things we want to do.

Hm. I'm venting too much here. And none of this was at all in any negative tone. I think I'll go back to adding to my list of books for the rest of this shift. And then I get to home to E., and play some Wii and make some lasagna. I think I'm also going to add my list to a new page on here. I'll have to play with formatting and whatnot to fit it all. That might take a few days, so keep checking back! :)

Also, here's my new set-on-repeat-and-zone-out song:

08 September, 2011

Five Cat Samba

Well, it's certainly been a while since I posted here.

Sorry about that. A lot has been going on.

To start off with some great news, I'm back in school! I've begun classes once more, going for a Technical Communications major. So far, it's been going really well! It's going to be a lot of writing, but I think I can definitely handle it. I'm going to be focusing on a more graphics-prone side of the field (so, website design, letterhead designs, logos, etc.), and I think I'll do really well.

Keeper has also started classes once more, and we're both going to be relatively busy this quarter with our class and work schedules. But I'm sure we'll still find time to invite over a few friends every once in a while and have some fun. :)

In case you haven't read my previous posts (from a month or more ago), we now have FIVE cats. FIVE. Let's read that again: FIVE cats. It's rather crazy! Savannah has adjusted incredibly well! In the past month, she's gone from hiding in the bedroom almost nonstop, to coming out into the living room and completely chilling with everyone else! She's even begun playing (that's right: playing!) with Bolo! She sleeps between Keeper and I almost every night, which, upon talking to Dad H. about this behavior, she never used to do this at her old house. She even usually comes on the bed a little before bedtime, to lay down between us, purring, while Keeper reads bedtime stories! It makes me quite happy to know that she enjoys living here.

In some rather unfortunate news, Keeper and I have decided that Pooh Bear needs to be declawed in front. She's become something of a terror to the rest of the cats, and I can assure you that neither Keeper nor I particularly enjoy having needles in our legs when she tries to cuddle with us. When I first got her, I didn't think that her nails would be too much of an issue. However, even after living with her for a year, she simply refuses to let either Keeper or me trim her nails. While I think that declawing her in front will cause her to not enjoy some activities that she currently enjoys (i.e. claw-hugging the bottom of the climbing tree thinger we have, clawing our legs to no end when trying to cuddle, lashing out at the other cats when they appear too close to her personal bubble, etc.), I know that she'll still be able to enjoy much of her life without the claws (especially mousing, cuddling, eating, etc.).

I have taken to making a list of every book that I have read that I really enjoyed, as Keeper made the mistake a couple weeks ago of asking me "What's your favorite book?"... In asking me that question, he told me that it couldn't be a book series (after I responded "Kushiel Series"), and it had to be more than 50 pages (after I revised my response to "The Monster At The End of This Book"). Talk about a difficult question. Since he asked me that damn question, I have been going through Borders.com, page by page, looking at titles and covers and authors, trying to find my favorite book. Alongside the pages, I have an Excel spreadsheet in progress, which currently has two sections (Books I've Read/Loved, and Books I Want to Read) of three columns (Book Title, Series Title, Author). I think I'm up to over $1000 in books at this point. I haven't done any pricing for any of them, but I'm hoping to have my own library some day, and this list is at least 500 strong with books and series and authors now. Maybe I'll post the list. Probably not today, or tomorrow, or this week. Keep your eyes posted for a couple of new pages, though! :)

11 August, 2011

Something Something Something

Something something something something something something.

I'm hyper.

I don't know why. Well, I kind of do. I'm drinking a mountain dew. And I think I got some sort of actually decent sleep last night. Which, if you read my private blog probably later today or tomorrow, you'll understand why that's such a rare thing as of late (for those of you who can't access the private blog: I've been sleeping throughout the nights, but it's been really crappy sleep, and I've continually woken up feeling like I missed something).

I'm so full of energy right now.

02 August, 2011

And Savannah makes FIVE... :)

Wow. What a weekend.

My twin's wedding was absolutely beautiful. She looked stunning. I know she and her husband will have a fantastic marriage. Keeper and I had the honor of staying at Twin's mom's house for the weekend. Twin's mom is a truly wonderful women. She was incredibly fun, as always, and she and Keeper get along really well, which makes me incredibly happy. Friday night and Saturday morning were both incredibly busy, as we became knee-deep in wedding preparations and began helping out with everything we could. The wedding was Saturday afternoon, at a rather nice church, with a reception across the street at the Town Hall. Although Keeper and I had to sit separately for the ceremony, we got to spend the majority of the reception together, in charge of the "photo-booth". The wedding was multi-cultural, as Twin's new husband is half-Latino, which made it quite the experience! I had tears in my eyes as the newly weds began their first dance. I'm so incredibly happy for them!

Sunday was a much calmer day. We woke up around 10, after Twin's mom (and family) had already left for church. Twin's mom had left a note for us to help ourselves to anything in the fridge, and if we left before they got back to make sure to lock the front door. After a bit of discussion, Keeper and I decided to go try to find a place for some brunch. I left Twin's mom a reply note, and we headed out (I made sure to lock the door behind us). We were going to try a place called Blueberry Hill Pancake House, but it was a bit packed for our taste, so tried for IHOP instead, but that was too packed also. In the end, after driving around for about a half hour, we went the Machine Shed. There was no wait there, and we were seated right away. We got an appetizer before our entrees (the appetizer being some really good stuffed potato skins), and then Keeper had some soup, and I had a salad. We ended up taking both of our entrees home with us, having little to no appetite by the time the entrees arrived at our table (especially after having coffee beforehand). After our "brunch", we headed over to the home that I used to live in before I moved to college, to visit the family I had lived with. I have been wanting Keeper to meet this family for the past year and a half or so, and I was overjoyed at the fact that we would all be in town at the same time. We stopped by their house, and got to sit down and chat with mom&dad H. for a while. I was elated when Savannah, one of the cats that lived there, came to say hi, and sat down between Keeper and me, purring. I'd missed her so much! I jokingly turned to Keeper, asking "Can we take her home?" He said no. After about a half hour, Keeper had (after discussing with E.) apparently changed his mind, and told me that if I ask mom&dad H. and they said yes, we can take her home with us! I didn't think they would say yes, so I didn't ask right away. We all spent another 20 minutes or so talking, and I asked mom&dad H. about if I could take her with me. I never expected them to say yes. I know dad H. has always been trying to get rid of the pets, even though he secretly loves them all, so I had expected him to say yes, but I never guess mom H. would agree to it. After talking back and forth with them both, discussing where Keeper and I live, inside and out, mom H. agreed to let Savannah go with me! I couldn't believe my ears! I agreed to keep them informed of how she was doing, and how she reacted to moving in with Keeper, me and our four others. I was so excited! I've been wishing to have Savannah live with me since I moved away, and I finally was able to have her with me! There wasn't much preparation done, and it wasn't long before we were on our way home with my favorite 'Vannah in tow with us!

During the entire ride home, I felt like I was in a dream. It didn't feel real. Savannah meowled for the first 15 or so minutes, and then lay quietly in my lap for the rest of the ride home. Once or twice, she moved down to the floor by my feet for a few minutes, before jumping back into my lap again. When we arrived home, we went upstairs, and Keeper went into the house before me to put all of the other cats in the bedroom. When I brought 'Vannah into the house, we put her in the bathroom right away, making sure she knew where the litterbox was. We gave her a bath, and brushed her fur out, making sure to get all of the mats/knots out. Once she was all dried off, and her fur was nice and shiny and smooth, we slowly opened the doors to introduce the other kids to her. Bolo and Luna didn't really react to her. Opal didn't seem to care too much at first, and Pooh Bear is the only one who really reacted poorly, which was expected. Savannah also only negatively reacted to Pooh Bear, oddly enough. It was an interesting exchange.

After everyone sniffed at her, Savannah wandered into the bedroom and found a spot under the bed to take a nap. She stayed there for most of the rest of the evening. I brought her out to meet Anthea and Antek, and she stayed in the living room for a little bit, finding that if she sat in the windowsill, she could watch all of the city lights. Later that night (around 3am or so), I woke up to go to the bathroom, and found her wandering around the house, exploring, with Bolo following her around as if to make sure she didn't get messed with and/or she didn't get into any trouble. I picked her up and put her on the bed, where she walked up by Keeper's head to say hi to him. In the morning, I found her sleeping in the middle of the floor in the bathroom foyer. When I got up, so did she. She followed me and Keeper around, and even found the cat tower! Keeper and I had to go to work, but when we came home for lunch, she was curled up on the couch-chair we have in the bedroom. She meowed a cute little "hello" to me, and then proceeded to follow me around, purring, until we left for work again. Keeper got home at 3pm, and she found his lap while he was at his computer. She became more and more social as the day went on, and when I got home at 5pm, she was more than happy to see me. When we got ready for bed later on, she joined me on the bed and curled up, purring happily. It made me so happy to see her so happy. I know she had been happy at the H.'s house, but I think not having any dogs around certainly helped enlighten her mood.


I can't wait until it all feels real. Honestly, I still feel like it's a dream. I've loved this little girl cat for over two years now, and I'm SO happy to have her with me. :)  I truly hope she stays with me for a very long time to come.

28 July, 2011

In Sickness and in Health

I have spent the last three days feeling a bit "under the weather", as they say. Keeper has, as usual, been more than supportive and caring. Over the past two evenings, I was supposed to work a pre-screening of Cowboys&Aliens, as well as another pre-screening of The Change Up (I had worked a screening of this last week). Unfortunately, I was too sick to be able to attend either screening, so Keeper went in my place. He's been doing everything in his power to try to help me get better, and I truly appreciate everything he's been doing for me. Yesterday, he sent out emails to all who I would've been in correspondence with throughout the day, to let them know that I was ill, and that I would not be able to make it to work, the screening, etc. He made sure that everyone knew that I wasn't feeling well, and Anthea even offered to keep me company while he went to the screening last night.

Tonight is a pretty important get-together for Keeper, and I really, truly hope that I'm feeling at least 30% better than I feel right now. I'm incredibly shaky. I had coffee this morning, you see. I had coffee and my vitamins, and that's it. I should probably go eat something. I just don't know what to eat. I spent all of tuesday drinking grapefruit juice, almost nonstop. Yesterday, I stayed on the couch at home, curled up in a blanket, watching movies and fading in and out of sleep. I ate some toast. And Keeper gave me some grapes when he got home for lunch. Around 9pm, I finally ate some chicken, corn and potatoes, and then had some pomegranate custard. Probably not my smartest decision, but it didn't make me feel any worse.

At the moment, I feel rather nauseous, and dizzy. I might need to leave work soon. I hope this gets better! Especially for saturday, when one of my best friends is getting married! I told her that I'd help with set-up and take-down and such. I'm really hoping to be feeling better in order to help her! Keeper will be coming with me, and I'm pretty excited for us to be attending an event like this, together.

Wish me luck (and good health!)!!

18 July, 2011

Lonely Piñata....


I woke up with this song stuck in my head this morning... and I'm not really sure why.

This weekend was an interesting one... Keeper and I both worked on Friday and Saturday, me during the day and Keeper working events at night. Then yesterday, Keeper's parents came to town, and we wandered around the museum, then Bastille Days, and then we all went to Glorioso's. His mother was nice enough, but it seems his father still is a little cautious about getting to know me, really. It was a little disconcerting, but I made do, and we still had a pleasant enough day. After the Glorioso's visit, we returned to the condo. Keeper's parents went for a swim in the pool downstairs, while Keeper and I were hanging out upstairs. When the parents returned from their dip in the pool, we all decided to go get dinner, so we went to Kopp's. After Kopp's, his parents drove us back to the condo, and left for home. Overall, the visit was not unpleasant, but I think it might've been better. I hope the next visit goes better.

In other news, I seem to have gotten my dearest E. addicted to Viva Piñata. She started playing it last week on our Xbox, and has since downloaded the PC version to play while we're not at home. It rather amuses me. She finds that "hurting" the piñatas is cruel (even though, you  know, they're Piñatas... as in, they get hit by small children for candy to fall out...), and she looks as thought she might cry every time a piñata dies in the garden. She seems to really enjoy playing the game, though, and that makes me happy. :)

I'm really hoping that this week goes better than last week... Until next time,

“If the person you are talking to doesn't appear to be listening, be patient. It may simply be that he has a small piece of fluff in his ear.”
-Winnie the Pooh

15 July, 2011

Woes

I'm addicted to this game. Especially during those idle 5 minutes, here and there, at work. This week has been most... stressful. Today is no exception. I wish to go home now. Like, NOW. But I still have 2 hours here today. I'm tired of dealing with all of the stress today. I didn't really even sleep last night. I basically just passed out. I was beat by 7:30pm. Keeper and I spent most of the afternoon together, going to Mega Media Xchange, Half-Price books, and Kopp's (don't ever have their 'Rum and Coca Cola' flavor... it's not very good, especially when burping 6 hours later). Then E. and I spent most of the evening together,  playing video games, and just being by each other. I zonked out around quarter to 11pm, and woke up at 11:30pm. After that, I passed out, until about 5:30am, when E. had locked out the cats and gone to the bathroom. After that, I tossed and turned until 7:57am, when my alarm went off. I tried to sleep some more until my second alarm was supposed to go off, but it didn't work very well, so after about 10 minutes, I got up.

This week has been one stressful day after the other. I really hope this weekend is better. Both Keeper and I work tomorrow, and Keeper's parents are coming to town to go to Bastille Days with us on Sunday. Godz, I really hope this weekend is better.

I hope all of you are having a better week than I am...

08 July, 2011

News Swen Wsne Ensw

School. Work. School. Work. Life.

I'm looking into switching majors... again. This time, to the TC major (Technical Communication). I think it'll be a good switch for me. I'm hoping to go into the more graphics-related field of TC... Like, designing letterheads and doing stuffs like that. I talked with a professor last week about the field, and what the major is going to be like here at school. It seems like it might be an almost-perfect fit.





In other news...

05 July, 2011

Poison



“There is something you must always remember. You are braver than you believe, stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.”

I have a new friend! S. seems like a really nice person. We've talked a bit back and forth for the past week or so, and I seem to be connecting with her. It is a strange feeling for me, as I do not usually get along with girls... at all.... I think we're going to have a girly-day soon. Which, again, is a weird thing for me. I don't know how to be "girly"... I don't know what it is to enjoy shoe shopping, or gossiping, or just be... well... "girly". I don't imagine that's exactly what S. and I will be doing when we have our girly-day, but I find it interesting to be connecting with a girl like I feel I am with this girl. I even helped convince her to start her own blog, which so far, has been really enjoyable to read and understand a little more about her. Unfortunately, she works a lot of evenings, so I don't think we're going to be going to any summerfest concerts this week. :\

Speaking of Summerfest

27 June, 2011

Time keeps on slipping....

RAMBLER'S NOTE: I've changed the layout of my blog a little bit, so that I don't have entire pages upon pages all showing on one page. AKA: you have to click the "More Rambling..." link to read the entire excerpt.

Work. Work. Work.

Blagh. Weeks are so boring during the summer. Weekends are where all the fun happens.

This past weekend, Keeper and I had a pretty awesome grill-out with a few friends, did some flyering at a NASCAR race, and went to a Strawberry Festival.

On Friday, I got to try making burgers for the first time, and I also made my home-made mashed potatoes. Keeper made a grilled-veggie mix, and our friends brought oreos, chips, and soda. It was a pretty good time. We grilled out on the rooftop, and when our food was done being cooked, we brought it all down to the apartment to eat and relax. We ended up the night by playing Perplexcity, which is easily becoming one of my favorite games!

22 June, 2011

Kamikaze Come Over Me




Life has been.... interesting... as of late.

I have noticed that I listen to music less often. This is rather strange, given that I used to need music constantly, else I would start to get antsy and need to get to a computer or a radio or anything that would make noise. There have been lots of things that have been making noise right outside my home. Construction on the parking structure, thunderstorms, and traffic as always... And of course, there's noises in the house, what with living with four cats, and both Keeper and I playing video games. The lack of music is curious to me. I do not want to lose the joy and passion of music that I have/had.....

06 June, 2011

Wrong side of... well.... Everything.

Allergies. I hate them. And apparently I have them. Sitting in my office, sniffling, this is just irritating me.

Really, it probably wouldn't be irritating me at all normally. But today has just not started off well at all. I didn't sleep well. I had a particularly hard time even falling asleep last night. I woke up to an alarm, and I really didn't want to wake up just yet. I had completely forgot about the movie screening that I'm doing today. I took a shower late. I caused Keeper to be late for work. When we were almost at work, I thought I forgot my keys, so I ran home again to find them, only to find that my keys were not there. They were in my backpack, which was now at work. I got to work (now 15 minutes late) and took Keeper's keys back down to him, but then forgot to grab the phone charge-cord from him, because my phone was only at 30%. He brought it up about 5 minutes later, and now my phone's charging (thank godz) so that it doesn't die while I work this screening today. Now I just have to remember to breathe....

02 June, 2011

New Times Inc.

Hm. Well. Where to begin. Wow that word looks like it's wrong. Begin. Begin. Begin. Nope. Still looks wrong.

Anywho.

Life is... well... it's progressing. Keeper and I are doing better and better every day. E. and I are getting better as well. The cats are doing swell. The boys are still ripping up any wooden object in the house, which is driving me insane. Not that the girls are exactly little angels. But they're not scratching on everything.

My mother recently became a part of my life again... In a small way... But I truly feel that that's all I can handle at the current time. She is trying to be supportive, and I truly appreciate that. She and Keeper don't know how to react to each other just yet, I think. Heck, I don't even know how to react to it all yet.

In my last post, I raved and ranted about my Captain Bluebear book, and expressed an interest in getting the other books. Well, my mother has graciously sent me one of those books, as well as some other books, some of which I have yet to receive. I do so love to read, but am still unsure how to react to this act of kindness.

I have a slight headache at the moment, and I hope it goes away soon. Keeper and I are planning a good weekend with some friends, and I really want everything to be as fun as possible. I know it's only Thursday, but still.

I feel as though life is good right now. There are games to be played, people to be laughing with, cats to be cuddled, and a love that is truly worth cherishing every moment of. Life is indeed good. :)

Oh! And one last thing:

MMMMM WATERMELON JUICE. ;)

26 May, 2011

Lunch Lunch Lunch

One hour left. I don't want to be here anymore. My boss is being a bit of a pain today. Even Keeper's boss thinks so. On the bright side, I just spent 15 minutes socializing with my friend J. That was nice. Discussing plans for the summer, and our jobs, and such nonsensical stuffz. He returned my book to me, too! The 13 1/2 Lives of Captain Bluebear! It's definitely one of my Favorite books ever! And I've just spoken to Keeper, and he says that we can read it for bedtime stories! AH! You don't even know how excited that makes me!

We're reading Winnie the Pooh stories right now. It's really fun. I've decided that Russ is Tigger. Emily is a mixture of Pooh and Rabbit. Oh, and my Esoteric Hellion is a mixture of Eeyore and Owl! :)  I think I'm probably either Piglet, or Christopher Robin. I haven't really decided if I'm even really a part of the stories just yet. I showed Keeper the movie adaptations of three of the stories the other day. It was just kind of a fun little evening of watching movies. He laughed, and seemed to enjoy the movies as well.

We will probably go back to reading some Lewis Carroll after we're done with Pooh, at least for a little bit. And then I think we might have to start on the Adventures of Captain Bluebear! I read this book once a loooooooonnnnng time ago. I loved it. It's over 700 pages long. It's absolutely fascinating, and a fun read. It's got some of the most random things you can think of, and some things you've never even imagined! I only wish I had a hardcover version of it.

I'm looking into getting the other 4 books that Walter Moers wrote that were translated into English. It looks as though they're all available on Amazon, which is nice. From what I'm reading, 3 of the other 4 books also take place in Zamonia (the fictitious continent that Captain Bluebear is set in), although none of them are actually sequels or prequels or anything like that. I might just have to buy them all! I believe, if I could, I would have all of Walter Moers' works. I know that he is a German comic writer and author, and from what I've seen of his work, I really do enjoy it.

Anyway, I have spent my last hour of work. Time to go home and maybe play a game or something until Keeper comes home and then we're going to lunch!

Chow! :)

13 May, 2011

Mixed Thoughts

It certainly has been a while. I've felt as though there hasn't been much to write about, although I know there certainly is every day Life to write about.

I have found myself addicted to this song:

I love this man's voice. I love this band. I've found the other 2 recordings they have recorded, and their work is FANTASTIC. The band's name: Bastille. Definitely check them out. I REALLY hope they record some more stuff and become more widely known!

Tonight, Keeper and I are traveling to Appleton, to go to my "twin"'s bridal shower... Well, I'm going to the shower... Keeper gets to amuse himself in Appleton for two hours. This is going to be my first time back in town since January 2010. I have some mixed feelings about it.

This is the first time Keeper and I are going anywhere out of town for more than the day. And we're going to the most recent town that I lived in. There are still people there that I'd rather avoid. And there are some others that I would truly enjoy seeing.

I am a little anxious. I think it almost has nothing to do with Keeper, though. Looking back at every other "trip" I've taken, my mother and I would both always get stressed out for some reason, and there would always be some small argument before we left for our destination. I feel as though some of my anxiety and stress currently may be due to this feeling of waiting for that stupid little argument. I don't think that it will actually happen, and I'm working very hard to not do anything that may cause a fight. I think we'll be okay.

It feels good to have an open space to write all of this and get it out of my head. I feel much better when I get everything out. Between this open blog and the private story, my emotions and thoughts have a chance to escape my heart and my head, and for those who care to read them, a chance for some other perspective to enter everyone else's minds.

I think, overall, today will be good.

29 April, 2011

Eclectic Music Repeated

This post is a repeat of what I have in my private blog, but I felt it too good to not share on my public blog as well. :)


I have just discovered this song, and I feel that I really like it.

I am all over the place. I'm up, then I'm down, I'm left, then I'm right. I'm calm, then excited. I'm awake, then tired. I want one thing, then an entirely different thing. This is an entirely new feeling. Well, not really. It's not a new feeling. It's just new that this has lasted so long.

Today is a very.... odd day. I'm having problems waking up. I know Keeper is too. My carpal tunnel is acting up again. It's really rather irritating. It gets really painful sometimes.


I really wanna talk to my Esoteric Hellion. :(  He's almost never online. He's really busy, I know. And he has an apprentice-type-thing now, too. He said last time when he was online, that he was going to try to be around more often. But he isn't. And I really shouldn't be surprised... But it still sucks. 



I feel as though I want to go home. I do not know what I want to do at home. But I really don't want to be at work today. I think I would like to go home, and open some windows, and blare some good music. Maybe dance a little. Or maybe I want to go driving. And blare my music with the windows open in the car. I think the music I'm listening to today is very... summer road-trip-worthy.



I think I'm really liking MGMT... and Foster the People. Their music is very... good. I don't really know how else to put it. I really want to go for a car-ride and listen to their music as loud as I can. I think that would do wonders for me. 



Wanna go for a car ride with me?

28 April, 2011

Cravings of Craziness


What a Rollercoaster.

A week of ups and downs. Life is crazy. Pages need to be edited. Mountain Dew is good. Keeper says I'm all over the place today. I wanted McDonalds a little bit ago. Now I'm craving pretzels. My body was definitely craving caffeine this morning, so I had to go to the store and get some form of the drug. I'm unable to focus on anything right now. My mind is all over the place. I don't want to be at work. I want to go home. And work on something. Sims... or the blog that Keeper, E. and I are going to have together... or something. I don't know. I don't really wanna be at work anymore. And I want to go get my mail from my old apartment. But my roommate isn't there, so I can't get it. Talk about frustrating. I know his car in the parking lot, not even 50 feet away from me at this very moment. But he's probably at one of his friend's houses. Arg. I don't know. I'm not that frustrated about it, I guess. I'm just... well... Yes. I'm all over the place.

I don't really want to focus. But I don't really want to be so unfocused, either.



...

I can haz sims time nao please? kthxbai.

<3

15 April, 2011

Short post today, I think.

The last couple of days have been pretty mellow. Lots of game-playing, and hanging out, watching movies. I'm rather addicted to Sims 3 now, as I have three expansion packs for the game, and I'm enjoying exploring everything. Keeper has started playing Borderlands and Fallout 3 alternatively, and he can't really decide which one he likes better. He says he wants one that's a mixture of the two. Haha.

Tonight is a Gallery Night at the Grohmann Museum. I'm pretty excited. I don't know if I'm more excited for the actual night, or because I get to look pretty tonight. Which, that may be wrong of me to say, as I do work at the museum, but I won't be working tonight. I don't work at these events. Keeper does (he gets to walk around looking fancy and taking photos), so I go along. I enjoy going and socializing with others. And dressing up. :)   And tonight.... I'm going to wear my new converse! They're still brand new white and purple, and I'm planning on wearing them with some dress pants, and... well... I haven't decided on a shirt yet. I've got about two hours between work and Gallery night to decide on that, though. There's free food, and free non-alcoholic beverages at the museum tonight, and my boss will be giving a speech on the history of Mills tonight as well. Should be interesting.

If any of you are interested in seeing some art, socializing, and getting some free food and drink, stop on by!

I might post some pictures later, if I get any.

Fino ad allora... Sorriso!

10 April, 2011

Head for the hills, the kitchen's on Fire!

Wow! This weekend has been pretty great so far.

Friday afternoon, Keeper and I went to Best Buy and bought an Xbox 360. I also bought a special edition controller! I'm UBER psyched about this. We got an amazing deal on the system and hard drive for it. I paid a bit extra for the controller, though. After we got the xbox, hard drive, and controller, we headed over to Mega Media Xchange, where we got a bunch of games for it. LEGO Star Wars, LEGO Batman, LEGO Indiana Jones, Mirror's Edge, Assassin's Creed... We're still looking for LEGO Harry Potter, and I'm totally PSYCHED for LEGO Pirates of the Caribbean (release date of May 10th(?))!!!! I also bought Piglet's Big Movie Game and we got Kingdom Hearts II for PS2, and then we also got some Game Cube games (Including Ratchet & Clank) as well! So many games! When we have kids, it's going to be CRAZY fun. And our kids are gonna be SO spoiled, it's not even funny. **We will NOT be having spoiled Rotten kids, on a side note. Our kids will be privileged, but NOT brats.**

Yesterday, I basically played Sims 3 ALL day. I woke up around 9:30, and let Keeper sleep in til noon. Around 4:30pm, I went over to my apartment and showed a couple friends/ex-coworkers the apartment as potential new tenants. I had lost track of time, and almost forgot to go show them around! They forgave me for being late, though, as I KNOW they've both gotten lost in games before, too. When I got home, Keeper and E. were finishing up watching Layer Cake, and then E. put on Serenity. I continued in my Sims 3 world, until we went to bed around 1am. It was crazy.

Today, we got up around 10:30am or so... And I haven't touched Sims 3 all day. I'm determined not to. Keeper and I had to run to the grocery store to get some creamer for our coffee, as well as cat litter, and some juice for me. When I got home, I had to re-file my taxes, and email a potential employer. I also got to draft up a Lease Termination letter. That was interesting. Hopefully, my roommate and I are released from the lease early, as that's a lot of money that I'd rather not have to spend on an apartment that I don't live in. I finished folding all the laundry that E. and I had started last night, and I brushed all of the cats! Now this last one, I'm kind of proud of. Keeper has always struggled with Bolo and Opal when it comes to brushing them. They almost Always struggle to get away and they always fight with him. When I brushed both of them today, they both thoroughly enjoyed it (they both purred through the entire brushing), and Opal even wanted more! ^_^  This makes me rather happy. I believe that they usually fight Keeper because he pushes too hard. He brushes them harder, I think because he thinks that he'll get more fur that way. The only thing I can really compare it to, is that it's like cutting a soft bread. If you press harder, the bread is just going to crumble, or in this case, the cat is going fight. If you go nice and slowly, back and forth on the bread, it will cut relatively smoothly... and in this case, if you go smoothly, as if you were just petting the cat nicely, the cat will enjoy it. It rather amuses me that the boys both enjoyed getting brushed by me, even though they always fight with Keeper.

In other news, Keeper broke my mouse last week, so we're ordering me a new one. It's gonna be purple! I'm excited! Also, I found Catz 4, and Catz 5! I'm SO excited for these! Catz 4 was the first computer game my mother had ever bought for me. Hopefully, Keeper will be able to help me find a way to play them on Windows 7, as they're both made for old Windows platforms. Along with the news of new stuffs, we also just ordered some converse from Hot Topic, where they're having a FANTASTIC sale! I'm getting some purple ones, and E.'s getting some black ones. (On a side note, I just found these, which I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY want!!! :-D ) All this stuff is coming in the next week or so. I'm UBER psyched about it all. :)

Keeper and I are now watching Burn Notice. I think for the rest of the day, we'll probably watch this show, and just chill. Maybe play a couple games later. It's been a good weekend. :)

I hope this week is as good!

07 April, 2011

Cemeteries of London

Mmmmm, whipped cream and caramel sauce! :)



Keeper and I have a whole three days to do nothing/anything we want, starting tomorrow. :) I'm pretty excited. The last few days, we've been playing a lot of games. He's gotten really far in the Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time, and I've been playing and upgrading my Sims 3. It's been pretty awesome. In my Sims game, I've got myself, Keeper, and E. all living together, and Keeper and I have a son named Liam. I'm working on figuring out how to have pets in the game, as not having a cat or dog is rather driving me nuts. So far as I'm finding in my research for a pet, the only pets in Sims 3 at this time are insects and fish. Talk about lame! I really hope they do come out with an expansion pack soon.

In other news, I should be writing an early lease termination letter tonight. My room mate and I have come to an agreement that we should get out of the lease early, as I do not really live there any more, and he'll be leaving during the summer for an internship. He seems to be much more pleasant after this last weekend. I'm not entirely sure why, but I'm glad he is in a better mood now. He was being a complete jerk for a while.

After work today, Keeper and I are gonna go to Best Buy to get me a new mouse, because Keeper broke mine this morning, and possibly a wireless Game Cube controller, and another xbox controller. Keeper and I have been looking for video games that we can play together. Last week, we went to Mega Media Xchange and got three games that are multi-player. Two of them were puzzle type games (Bombastic and Mojo!), and the third was Winnie the Pooh! I thoroughly enjoy the Winnie the Pooh one, but there's only a part of it that's multi-player, so I'm afraid it wasn't as fun for Keeper. But we're still looking. Keeper found a few games, which he's downloaded and we're going to test out soon. And, we're continuously looking for any of the Lego (Batman, Indiana Jones, Star Wars, Harry Potter (when it comes out)) series games, for PS2. If you have any suggestions for multi-player games (that aren't war games or anything like that), please feel free to leave a comment!

After best buy, Keeper has suggested we go to Culvers, where we have a couple coupons for $1 off some meals, which Keeper is pretty happy about, and a bogo coupon for Concrete Mixers, which I'm excited for!  After a breakfast of a cinnamon raisin bagel (with butter, cream cheese, and sugar on top), and a Starbucks strawberries and cream frappucino, and after all our adventures we're to have today, I think it might turn out to be a pretty good day. :)

01 April, 2011

I'm on the Up and Up



I've got an interview today! And another one on Monday.

I'm REALLY hoping for the job today. It's at a local bakery, and I've been wanting to work at a bakery for a while now. I'm not entirely sure why. But I'm pretty ecstatic for this interview!  No one has really considered me for a bakery position, due to my lack of experience in the field, but I'm REALLY hoping for this! And i have the second interview for that painting job on Monday as well! AH! I can't even tell you how excited I am right now. AND Keeper and I are having a game night tonight, with some friends, and I'm REALLY hoping our new friend L will come! It's gonna be REALLY fun if she does!!!!

Today just feels really good right now. :)

And especially after a visit from my favorite Esoteric Hellion last night, which lasted about 3 hours, I'm pretty happy. It's really good to be able to talk to your friends, and it's even better when you can hang out with them. Especially for those friends that you miss, but they've got busy, stressful lives of their own to live.

It's gonna be a good weekend, I think.  Hope all of you have wonderful weekends as well!

31 March, 2011

OCD and sick days

To all of you who follow just this blog, please know that I am sorry for not updating recently! I'm being a little OCD and trying to catch my private blog up to this one, so that there are the same number of entries... I'm two away from them having the same amount! This may seem silly to some of you... but this is just how I am sometimes. Once I am up to par for both blogs, I will be back to blogging daily, as usual!

Also, for those of you who do not follow the private story, Keeper has been pretty ill the last few days, and we spent yesterday at home, in bed, watching movies all day. It was quite nice. I fear I may be coming down with a bit of some kind of sickness as well, but nothing as bad as Keeper has/had.

Today, we work at the museum for a bit, and then who knows what afterwards. Maybe we'll go on an adventure! Or possibly, we'll play one of our new video games.... One of which includes an adventure.... with Winnie the Pooh! :D

Until next time, stay healthy!

29 March, 2011

"Be Good To Yourself Today."

My boss has chocolates in a basket in his office every day. I like the Dove chocolates the most. Especially the almond ones and caramel ones. The caramel one I ate this morning told me, "Be good to yourself today."  I find this to be very good advice, as Keeper is sick now, and we've come into work early, so that we can leave early.

I'm working a pre-screening of Jane Eyre tonight. I'm pretty excited for it. Or, at least, I will be, once I actually wake up. I am definitely nowhere near awake right now. I'm physically up and functioning, but I am not awake as of yet. I'm not sure when exactly I will wake up, but I'm sure I'll be awake enough by noon or so.



My almond chocolate wrapper say "Shut out the world for just one moment." To be honest, right now, I wish I could. But i'm at work. There's a stack next to me of magazines that some articles need to be clipped out of, and a large stack of papers in front of me that need to have some information added to them. This work is rather boring some days, but if I just listen to the music, I find that the day goes by quickly enough. And, as this is the only source of income that I have right now, I cannot complain.

I think I will feel better once I go home, and can just lie around with my love, and our cats. Maybe play some video games, or watch a movie... Today will be well enough, I think.

Hope your day is wonderful, and possibly full of unicorns.

26 March, 2011

Puppy Dogs and Ice Cream.

Really low-key today. Got up, had frosted mini wheats (with fruit in the middle) for breakfast, showered, wrote in my private blog, and then went out for lunch with an old friend. While I was blogging this morning though, Keeper decided to start.... measuring... our cats. I'm not entirely sure what's in his head sometimes, but it made me laugh. If you feel like deciphering his thoughts, read here.

Since getting home from running a few errands, Keeper and I have watched Nanny McPhee, and are now watching Tim Burton's Alice In Wonderland, until later, when we're gonna go to a movie night at a friend's house.... where there will be french toast and bacon present! Might be a little excited for that. I really want to eat something.... but i'm holding off for a couple hours.

You know, since Keeper has started reading Lewis Carroll's Alice in Wonderland, and Through the Looking Glass, I'm noticing all these little details about the movie adaptations of Alice, and it's strange. The original Alice was quite... retarded. I mean, she's a little girl and all, in the books, but still. For a little girl, she's incredibly unintelligent, and stupid. And in the movies, they portray her as at least a little smarter than the book. If you talk with Keeper about it all, he'll tell you that, although he doesn't mind Tim Burton's Alice, he feels that they should've titled it "Though the Looking Glass", instead of Alice in Wonderland, as this story is closer to the original story of Through the Looking Glass than it is to the original Alice in Wonderland.

Bandersnatch!

25 March, 2011

Crayons and Melting and Books and Stuffs!


Damn straight. I did just waste 10 seconds of your life there. You're never getting those 10 seconds back! Bwahahahahaha! I'm so maniacal! :D

Had my last day at work at the bookstore tonight. Rather uneventful night. It was busy, to be sure. But it was uneventful. And to top off such a busy, yet uneventful evening, I forgot my glasses at the store.... AND my paycheck! FmL on that one. >.<

I heart cauliflower.  It's tasty. With butter, a little cheese, and a little salt. YUM.

Anyways. I had that really great interview today. And I felt pretty good about myself. And I have to call a couple places back tomorrow. Oh! and I have a lunch with an old friend tomorrow too! I'm pretty psyched about it.

Speaking of friends, I was talking with a few of my best friends the other day, about our favorite Disney movies. It was pretty fun to learn that we're all something different. (NO, J, you're NOT a tie between two! You only get ONE! :P )  I automatically associated all of my friends with the main characters of the movies. Here's a list of what me and all my closest friends are in Disney characters, and after, I'll explain why some of this is so entertaining.

Me: Lion King -Simba
Keeper: Alice In Wonderland -Alice
E.: Aladdin -Aladdin
J: Mulan -Mulan (he tried to convince me that he's tied for Mulan and Aladdin. I said no.)
L (my newest friend): Pocahontas -Pocahontas

I find this all rather entertaining. Let me explain why. While the following reasons that I am about to list are entirely irrelevant to pretty much anything, I still find it amusing.

For starters, L is the only person in that list who's not only their own gender, but also their own species. J is a boy, but his movie character is a girl. E. is not only a girl, but a lesbian, but her character is a guy who hangs out with a monkey, a flying rug, and a genie. Keeper is a really smart (and amazing) guy, but his disney character of choice is a retarded young girl. And me? I'm the coolest one of the bunch! I'm a cat! In real life, I'm a girl, of human heritage. But my character of choice is definitely a male feline. I am truly the most awesome-ist of the bunch. Although, I will admit. We all make up a pretty awesome group. :)

Until next time,
Bring back your childhood, and go watch your favorite disney movie.

Cinderelly-Cinderelly!

 To start off the day today, here's an absolutely adorable picture of my beautiful little Luna! She enjoys curling up in the tunnel. :)

SQUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

I might have a summer job! :D I'm UBER excited about this news!  I went into the interview, applying for a job as a painter (as i typed that, i typed "pianter".... woah the things your hands get used to typing, when you're not even looking), and the guy interviewing me said i'd be perfect for the job site manager position! WOW is that fantastic news or what?!?!?!?!?!? :D

For those of you who may be confused about the fact that this blog is still public, I decided to go ahead and keep this blog public. I have a private blog as well, called Real Pirates Drink: The Private Story, and if you'd like access to that, send me a message or email or text or some form of communication that includes your email address, and I will grant you access, assuming I like you well enough! :D

In other news, our copy of Cinderella is screwy, so the computer went weird this morning, and I did not approve. But, I've downloaded a few other movies, which look fantastic! And! The laundry is going, the dishes are done, and I might have a job!!! :D Who's excited? This girl right here!!! :D

One of the four cats that live here with me and Keeper, was being a butt this morning. He even started scratching on one of daddy's speakers! In this house, that's a HUGE no-no! But, i scolded him, and now he's sulking under one of the couches. OMG so much furniture in this house! We havent moved all of my stuff over here from my apartment yet, but Keeper says we can make a day/weekend of it soon, and have a bunch of friends help us. We're going to have 3 couches! It's gonna be crazy. I feel like I'm talking at a million miles an hour. But, really, my mind is just incredibly alive with possibilities! And i have pizza waiting for me in the other room. And now Keeper's home again! YAY! :D


Also, here's a wonderful couple of pictures of Bolo, as he watches Cinderella. Talk about CUTE! ^_^


24 March, 2011

As I begin to write here, I have just started the movie Sleeping Beauty in the Background. I have the shades drawn, the room is dark. A pillow fort is under construction! And the cats are going crazy!

20 minutes later....

Fort is complete! Although, I think next time i will have to make it in the bedroom. I have a basic three-room fort going at the moment, with a patio in front, where I can look out the "window" and see the big screen, where I now have Veggietales playing! :)  I might consider taking pictures and posting them.... but I'm waiting for Keeper to come home and explore with me!

Like I said, I think i'll make it in the bedroom next time. We have a triangle sign hanging from the ceiling that i think i can hang a couple sheets from and they can hang over the bed! And, if i do it that way, i'll have an uber sweet fort, and i wont have to lay weird to watch movies! :D It'll be exciting.


OH! Keeper's Home! Time to go!

Until Next time---

Happy Forting! :D

Mountain Dew at 11 in the Morning.... after waking up at 10.

I realized last night, around 4 am, when Keeper and I lay awake, both frustrated and restless, that this is not at all how I wanted this blog to go. I'm brand new to all of this blogging stuff, but I was not planning to have this overly emotional, incredibly personal flood of words on a page.. I was hoping for something a little more... fun.

I cant seem to help it, though. I sit at a computer keyboard, and the words and emotions and everything just floods out through my fingertips, eager to get out of my head and onto this page. I had wanted to do something lighthearted and fun, something with my graphics, or with music, or just some fun ramblings that go through my head. But nothing ever seems to want to come out that way.

To be honest, I'm a little jealous of Keeper. His blog posts... they're beautiful... and deep.... and they paint a picture... I can never seem to do just that. I can convey my emotions rather well.... but I really didn't intend to just flood into this blog.

As I write this, I'm looking over and realizing that my cat Luna is basically an overgrown squirrel.

Ahem. Back to my situation. I think I might just start a new blog, and have two pages. One public, and one private. I think it'll work better that way.... At least, then I can flood all of the everything that gets pent up inside of me, and I can have a lighthearted, fun blog about random ramblings, and everything ridiculous.

In this decision, I will make it available to those of you who like to follow my inner floods, and would also like to read my random ramblings, to do so, following both. If you get removed from being able to view this blog, please message me, and I will add you to the list of people who can view this page.  I think it will work best this way.  I'll leave this up for a day or two, so anyone who wants to contact me about continuing to see this page can do so. If you don't have my email address, phone number, mailing address, or some other form of contacting me, please message me on facebook, or through some other medium that we're friends through. :)

Just to clarify: this is not the end! Simply, a branch off into a grand beginning into the world of blogging!

23 March, 2011

Rainy Days and Sleepless Nights

If I had my way right now, I’d be at home, building a blanket fort and putting up random strands of krismas lights, so that Keeper and I could snuggle and watch movies for the rest of the day. It's just that kind of day.

Last night, I had to stop myself from thinking. Keeper read me my nightly bed time chapter of Alice in Wonderland, and I stayed awake through it this time. 

The night before last, I had fallen asleep while he was reading to me. I've told him countless times that I love his voice. But not until I had fallen asleep listening to him read me a bedtime story had he actually believed it. His voice is the one sound in the world that I never want to stop listening to. If I’m having a rough day, and he even says one word to me, nothing seems so bad anymore. 

Yesterday was pretty horrid... But Keeper took my hand and told me that everything's going to be alright. And even when my mind never stops racing, he's right there, holding my hand, telling me that he loves me, and that we're going to be okay.

I lie awake last night... tossing and turning... I couldn't find a comfortable spot. And I couldn't stop thinking. My mind kept trying to make me panic, make me cry, make me scream. I had to stop myself. Keeper and I had gotten into an argument the night before, but about something else entirely, something stupid, and it irked my mind. We both seem irritable. I've been getting freaked out lately, but stupid, insignificant things... And he's... idk. He seems a little more... easily angered... than usual. And then yesterday happened. And I had to stop myself. Being a depressive, my mind thought up these stupid, horrid scenarios, where he and I get into these stupid, immature fights about nothing, for no other reason, than that we're both stressed, and I really don’t want that. 

I don’t want to fight with him. And I don’t want to be a burden to him. With the loss of my jobs, and the stress of still having to deal with paying rent for an apartment that I don’t even live in, mixed with all of the stress of having bills to pay besides that... These next couple months are gonna be hard. But I don’t want to be the one who's causing stupid little arguments over nothing. 

I want to be able to help pay for things. Groceries, electricity bills, cat expenses, whatever. I want to be able to provide for us too. But for a little while... I'm not going to be able to. And it scares the crap out of me.

If it was warmer outside... I'd be sitting outside somewhere. Just sitting in the rain... watching... listening... thinking. 

Keeper promises me that we're gonna be ok. He says that everything's going to be alright, that he's going to take care of me. Aside from my mother, I’ve never had someone who just wants to take care of me. And even with my mother, she wasn’t always there. She worked construction, so she was away at work a lot. My sister had to babysit me most of the time, and I had to take care of myself. I've spent the last 6 years taking care of myself. And now I’m with this wonderful man, who says that he's going to take care of me. I don’t even know what it really even means.... to be taken care of.  And it scares me.

Between the fears, the stress, the heightened sense of needing to find a job, and every other emotion running through my body... I really don’t want to be overtaken by these feelings. I don’t want to ruin anything good in my life. I don’t want to lose the best thing that's ever happened to me, and I truly don’t want to lose myself. 

I think I'm going to be okay. Flooding is a grand process that truly helps me calm down and get thoughts out of my head. 

I have to just keep myself calm, and remember to breathe. 

22 March, 2011

Talking Smacks and Cocoa Puffs

Life is full of ups and downs.  This perpetual roller coaster of good and bad.  And yet life goes on.

Got some pretty fantastic news today. I'm sure most of you have heard that a certain book store is bankrupt and closing 30% of their stores... At least, you would know that if you've followed the news at all.  Well. I happen to work at one of those 200 stores that they're closing, and today I found out that the store will only be open for 8 more days. Take about a crappy situation. But that's not even the best news!
I've been suspended! After being on academic probation for 6 consecutive semesters at this school, this really shouldn't be a surprise. And in all honesty, it wasn't really that surprising. What really entirely sucks about this situation... is the loss of my on-campus job.
So. Not only have I lost my rent-paying job, I've also lost my other-bills-paying/extra cash job! How fantastic is that??? I mean really!
And, on top of all of that, I still have to pay rent for an apartment that I'm not living in for the next two months (at Least)! And at this particular apartment, 90% of my belongings are locked in my room, because my idiot roommate got stolen from, and so now thinks that I'm stupid enough to steal from his room. When I hadn't even been there for a month, he gets shit stolen from his (locked) room, and probably thinks I'm the one who did it! I do not steal. Not from people that I’m friends with, not people that I know, and certainly not people I live with! That's just stupid and immature. Yes, I may be in college, but I'm not that irresponsible. -_-

Now, I'm honestly not going to sit here and complain about how horrid my life is and boohoo, and waaah, and all that crap.  Things have gotten pretty shitty for me in the last two or three weeks. But you know what? I'm strong, and I'm not going to let it get me down. Everything's going to be okay. There's this fantastic man in my life. Today, upon hearing about all of the wonderful news I had received, he took me to one of our favorite places to eat, and bought me lunch, and then chocolate, and made sure to tell me at least 15 times that he loves me, and that he's going to take care of me. Now, I've never really been one to just have and let someone take care of me, but with this man, I know I'm in good hands. I now get to spend the next while looking for jobs.  Talk about good times.

And all the while, my friends are standing by me, and I'm remembering to breathe. When all else fails: Remember to Breathe.

Also: Remember that cats make everything better.